Because I deserve Grace as my middle name!

Yesterday, I decided to be a bigger person and let go of my anger.

For the past 2 years,  I've been habouring this anger towards these group of people whom I happened to be related to. It might not be a big deal to them, of what they are doing to me, but it's a huge deal to me. Because to me a family should go beyond "just because we're related" either by blood or marriage.

Ostracising people, keeping them out of your life though you might be unfortunate enough to be related to them either by clan or law, is unacceptable to me. How else do you foster good relationship or family bond if you are just going to be very cliquish ? Seriously, sangat high school punya perangai, though those who are involved are perhaps nearing menopause.

The truth is, your maturity is not defined by your age nor academic achievement.

Yes, am rambling. Sebab sangat tak puashati. But yesterday, i just decided, what the heck. I bought a few extra things when I went for a holiday last month and though at first I thought, why must I be generous with a group of people that does not deserved my kindness (i read a few bitchy things they said about me and some we even making some insensitive remarks about my dad on the day of his passing) Memang WTH la...

 But then again, I thought about maybe, and I am pretty sure about this, I have, in the past hurt them too with my actions, either I meant to or not. I might have been careless with their feelings, and have, in the innocence of my youth and excitement of things have perhaps, put myself first and foremost.

That, and also because, I'm just too tired to be bothered about petty things. If they think that bonding with me is not something that they feel vital in order to create a family harmony then, just let time does it job. I can't force people to like me or involved me in their tight-knit circle. I try not to take it personally, i try. Because maybe they do not mean it personally, though when I found out there were
2 people who specifically wanted to not include me, I was pretty hurt. Despite trying to remain very casual about it,  sometimes, I still do wonder why and start to think the worst of me and then, them.

But, at the end of the day, you go, hidup ini singkat, nama kau Dollah, tak nak kawan, sudah!



Inhale, pin-up my hair and sip my coffee!