And Sometimes, Love Just Ain't Enough.

He was once the man of your dreams that you just can't  stop thinking about.

He was mine.

I wanted to marry him in July, July 29th to be exact, just because I love the number, and I love him! My summer wedding to my forever love!


I used to steal a glance across the crowded hall, just to know that he is there, though he might never notice my presence.

I was the girl no one notices.

But I didn't care. I only wanted him to notice!

And one day he did. I remember looking up from the mundane task I was doing in the trip that we participated in and our eyes met. My heart stopped. Many times before, from our previous encounters, my heart just beat so fast I swear I was going to die from palpitations. The painful part would perhaps be the fact that he would never have guessed. I could be suffering a stroke here ( or whatever happens to you when your heart pumps too much blood?) , right in the middle of this coridoor, and he would never have guessed. He would perhaps think that agh another one who misses her breakfast! But this time, right at this moment in time, as I looked up from the kettle of some tea I had to make, and saw him looking at me with that look on his face, I knew it, there is that part of him that notices my presence. It could just be a tiny speck, but it gives me a whole hoover of hope.

So we took the chance of our whirlwind romance, i know i might get flung, thrown into the air, and crash to the ground.

broken.

But he has made me whole, being broken would just perhaps be physical. My heart is whole. I had him, I had his heart, the world could crumble, yet it would still be paradise in my eyes!

Ah..the foolish of youth!!

I didn't know then that the scar that i get from the wounds of a broken heart would be eternal. That it would not only be a matter of getting up and dusting down myself. If only it was that easy. What i didn't know was that how that rendezvous would be the measuring stick of my future happiness. Regardless of what happened between me and him, how messed up we were after every fights, how weary,  I would look back onto these happy years, often wondered, could I ever be that happy again? The paradise that I lost, we lost.


I dooddled his name to mine, His and mine, imagining the countless hari raya cards we would be sending to friends, along with our children's names. Sulaiman, Serena Maryam and Imran. Our three kids that we got within 8 years of our marriage. Sulaiman would have his eyes, oh basically his everything, Serena Maryam would just be little me ( I am a bit full of myself) , and Imran would be the perfect combo of our genes!

We would be happy. Why wouldn't we? Isn't love enough?


Sometimes, on the nights that I lay in bed restless, like tonight, I never ceased to wonder that.

Isn't love enough?


P/S: Good for an intro for a short story?