It becomes a burden when your heart is no longer into it. Sigh. I love my job, I love my workplace, I just don't love the pay!!!! Yeah, I know some may say teachers are supposed to be candles, burning themselves for the sake of others. Who authorised that btw? Some guy who wants to make teachers feel better (er...I don't) or some guy who wants to shut teachers up for whining about pay, thus creating a pseudo belief that we are supposed to sacrifice ourselves, our needs and fancies so that others can bloom, flourish, grow, fly, soar...
Would the sacrifices we make be all worth it? All those stay backs in school so that the jerk who doze off in your class can be personally tutored by you all over again? All those time your kids are left in the care of some bibik from 7 am to 6 pm everyday , so that you can make a person of someone else's children? Praying at the same time that bibik doesn't try to feed your child cooked cat's brain juz because you refuse to raise her pay to the ridiculous RM 800, and because you reprimand her for watching too much sinetron?
It's sometimes not worth it coz parents can also make your life hell. They give their kids all sorts of crap advice and pampered them too much, and worship the ground they walk on just because they do so well in exams.
It is also sometimes not worth it coz you do get some rude, ungrateful bunch who can only know how to complain.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Monday, November 3, 2014
The Musings of a Culinary Challenged Mom
It's been almost a year. Me being a homemaker. My husband and children has endured my horrible culinary skills, horrendous housekeeping and at the same time putting up with me being monstrous and ghoulish at times. Sigh...my aim is to be a calm n composed mom...how la! Anyway, I've. decided to keep a blog to see how far i have come especially in the cooking area. My mom never trusted me in the kitchen and I don't blame her for it. My attempts to cook anything as decent as masak kicap always end up in a disaster and the dustbin. Yes, I am that stoopid.
In my first few months becoming a SAHM, hence having to cook consistently for the family always end up with me being frustrated and angry for being so stupid. The taste is inconsistent, one day it's alright, the next day it's blerghhhh! Not to mention the many food I've wasted due to excessive buying and only using it once.
Now, though I am still pretty much dumb in the kitchen, but there have been a few food that I managed to 'master' and it could come out pretty decent. My masak pedas. And the secret is? To blend the shallots and garlic and ginger together with the small dried shrimps known as udang kering. And maybe a bit of galangal. You see, the thing is I think my mom had told me once that was how she does her masak pedas/sambal but I guess I did not pay attention enough to remember that method when I do my cooking. And the thing about cooking is that you have to keep doing it, to learn from it. Mistakes are there for you to learn from, though there are days you feel that how could someone with tastebud could even get this wrong? And how could you correct on that mistake if your attempt for the recipe take the span of months in between? Last time, when I was working and juggling motherhood and wifehood at the same time I only cook for like once or twice a month. Bad eh? I know. Looking back, I find it unbelievable that I did not try harder to provide my family and myself some decent, safe and healthy food. Joe is the type yang tak kisah. No time to cook? We eat out. Bad bad bad. Had I married a man yang "ohhhh I mesti makan kat rumah" I would have perhaps put Nigella Lawson to shame I 'm sure, or..er...ended up divorced.
Nevertheless, I am still faraway from being a decent cook. I still have my stoopid kitchen days, where everything just go horribly wrong and you just feel like throwing the pots and pans out of the window. But at least now, my baby steps are sometimes rewarded with "oh...ok next time perhaps kalau I buat macam ni...I need to put extra basil..."for example. The directions is a lot clearer. And Em makes less faces now when she is made to sit and eat her meals.
In my first few months becoming a SAHM, hence having to cook consistently for the family always end up with me being frustrated and angry for being so stupid. The taste is inconsistent, one day it's alright, the next day it's blerghhhh! Not to mention the many food I've wasted due to excessive buying and only using it once.
Now, though I am still pretty much dumb in the kitchen, but there have been a few food that I managed to 'master' and it could come out pretty decent. My masak pedas. And the secret is? To blend the shallots and garlic and ginger together with the small dried shrimps known as udang kering. And maybe a bit of galangal. You see, the thing is I think my mom had told me once that was how she does her masak pedas/sambal but I guess I did not pay attention enough to remember that method when I do my cooking. And the thing about cooking is that you have to keep doing it, to learn from it. Mistakes are there for you to learn from, though there are days you feel that how could someone with tastebud could even get this wrong? And how could you correct on that mistake if your attempt for the recipe take the span of months in between? Last time, when I was working and juggling motherhood and wifehood at the same time I only cook for like once or twice a month. Bad eh? I know. Looking back, I find it unbelievable that I did not try harder to provide my family and myself some decent, safe and healthy food. Joe is the type yang tak kisah. No time to cook? We eat out. Bad bad bad. Had I married a man yang "ohhhh I mesti makan kat rumah" I would have perhaps put Nigella Lawson to shame I 'm sure, or..er...ended up divorced.
Nevertheless, I am still faraway from being a decent cook. I still have my stoopid kitchen days, where everything just go horribly wrong and you just feel like throwing the pots and pans out of the window. But at least now, my baby steps are sometimes rewarded with "oh...ok next time perhaps kalau I buat macam ni...I need to put extra basil..."for example. The directions is a lot clearer. And Em makes less faces now when she is made to sit and eat her meals.
Today i'm making Thai green chicken. let's see how that'll turn out!
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Vegan Cake from now on!
Baby Ai has allergy and now I have to make some changes to my diet. Good thing about this place I am staying is the fact that there are many Mat Sallehs around, so the supermarket seem to cater for them a lot. Loads of imported stuff from Oz or UK and that also means they cater for those who are vegan and gluten intolerant as well. So, it's all about reading the labels for me now!
I had such craving for cakes that i admit, i did steal a bite of Em's carrot cake we bought from Coffee Bean and felt so guilty for darling Ai later. So when Joe came back that evening from work I handed Ai to him and told him I gotta go and find something that is edible for me which wouldn't harm Ai. So I went, reading labels at the aisles slowing down, taking my time. And was i excited to find a box of gluten, wheat, egg and nut free instant chocolate cake mix! i did not not have a mixer at home but i didn't care! I would mix with my own bare hands if I had to!
And that night, i managed to satisfy my cravings though i didn't think the cake turn out well, as, on top of not using electric mixer, I also did not have a kitchen weighing scale to measure 15 g of olive spread. Belasah!
Hm...I guess i need to address the issue of my cravings for sweet things fast!
I shall upload the pathetic looking-but satisfying cake later!
I had such craving for cakes that i admit, i did steal a bite of Em's carrot cake we bought from Coffee Bean and felt so guilty for darling Ai later. So when Joe came back that evening from work I handed Ai to him and told him I gotta go and find something that is edible for me which wouldn't harm Ai. So I went, reading labels at the aisles slowing down, taking my time. And was i excited to find a box of gluten, wheat, egg and nut free instant chocolate cake mix! i did not not have a mixer at home but i didn't care! I would mix with my own bare hands if I had to!
And that night, i managed to satisfy my cravings though i didn't think the cake turn out well, as, on top of not using electric mixer, I also did not have a kitchen weighing scale to measure 15 g of olive spread. Belasah!
Hm...I guess i need to address the issue of my cravings for sweet things fast!
I shall upload the pathetic looking-but satisfying cake later!
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Mundane updates!
This little town yang I bermastautin now takdelah besar mana. A little bit like Kota Bharu 20 years ago..haha. So since there's not much to do, Joe n I decided to join the local sorta Country Club. Actually, I pun malu nak sebut country club, kang bunyi nye gahhh sgt, posh sangat. But it was alrite, pretty decent. Got the usual, pools, kandang kuda etc. There would be ample of activities to keep little Em occupied. Sone parts of the buildings have a 70s aura/ early 80s aura to it. But so are most buildings here. Not complaining, as at times it takes me back to the time when I was a kid.
So, yesterday, Joe n I bawak the kids to the club. As it was pretty late already, almost 6, and it was quite windy yesterday, I don't fancy Em to have a swim. Surprisingly, my suggestion was met with a nod and she said ok, I'll go to the playground, Mummy Human. That was odd. I thought she would scream murder and be throwing tantrums upon the suggestion to stay away from the pool.
So Joe took the kids to the playground, and I went to the library. He he. Nerdy kan. Just nak checkout and since i am thinking of volunteering at the library, i might just see how things are. So in I went..hmm..they've got some pretty decent number of books, but not that variety of choices. They got DVD sections n was hoping to see classics like Breakfast at Tiffany's or something, but to no avail. I so wanted to get '10 things I love about you' - u noe, the one where The late Heath ledger was teramatlah hottienya tu., but i felt, mestilah nak kena create first impression yg best kan..afterall, since kununya nak volunteer kat sini..do I want them to know me as the lady who rent a teenage flick? na-ahh!
I borrowed Mansfield Park.
And a book about Queen Victoria.
Out of genuine interest ok..bukan sebab nak feeling2 royal!
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Dummies for Parents
Another negligence claimed the life of an innocent 3 year old. He was accidently left in the car by his dad, who went around completing errands, sempat minum2 lagi. I can't imagine his guilt. Having to live with that for the rest of ur life. It could even cause him his marriage. But yg tak I rasa sangat la tidak patutnya, all the comments that follow suit. Dah dalam FB kan, banyak lah keypad warrior nye. Most of them are youngsters, kalau ikut kata my friend yg vulgar sikit ni, kencing pun tak lurus lagi. But yeah, it's always easy to make judgment of the errors of others. It's not us who have to live with the sorrow, sadness, heartbreak of losing a child. As a mother, i rasa the words sorrow and sadness tu pun tak boleh nak justify the amount of your pain. Anak you tak ada depan you dah kot. Patah hati, sayu, pilu, hanya Allah yg Maha Tahu. And what's gonna make it worst, in your head, you would be playing, over and over again, your child's painful last hour before he dies. At moments like this, only janji Allah yg dia akan menguji kita dengan sedikit ketakutan, kehilangan anak dan harta benda, that is the only thing that could perhaps keep you sane. Because other than that, how can all these make sense?
It is however, not a license that we, as parents could take things for granted. Mata kena everywhere bila ada anak ni. I tell you, berapa kali darah i menyirap tahap lemah lutut bila Em suddenly, elok2 setengah milisecond sebelum tu berrdiri sebelah I masa i sibuk melipat stroller Ai, and the next thing I know, she's standing behind a reversing car. Or, like what actually happened at a fren's condo, she was standing on a chair menjenguk over the verandah from the 8th floor. I froze in terror, and it was a my fren Jill's good reflexes ( being a mom herself) that prevented on what I would not even dare to imagine.
So sense of alertness mmg kena tahap gaban bila ada anak. With regards to the unfortunate parents,as much as their judgment could be questioned, to me it is just an unfortunate incident that no parents would want to go through.
But how about dumb mistakes done by parents out of sheer stupidity rather than negligence? i have witnessed Malaysian parents do far worse stupid things with their kids. Sapa tak penah tgk mak/bapak bawak keta with anak atas riba? Or let the child stand on the passenger seat while they
drive?
Itu kalau nak kutuk, silakan, because that deserves dumb parents award of the century.
Have you ever thought what would happen if the car suddenly come to a jolt? That your precious innocent child would be crushed to death to the wheels? Or, in the case of standing child, would easily be thrown out of the car? You don't have to learn /understood the concept of inertia to get that simple fact. i am sure at least once in your life you have had experience being a passenger in a car which suddenly brakes. Tu kita yg mass boleh tahan ni, imagine anak kecil.
Apparently, many people do need "Common Sense for Dummies" guidebooks. That is perhaps the tragedy of many Malaysian parents.
It is however, not a license that we, as parents could take things for granted. Mata kena everywhere bila ada anak ni. I tell you, berapa kali darah i menyirap tahap lemah lutut bila Em suddenly, elok2 setengah milisecond sebelum tu berrdiri sebelah I masa i sibuk melipat stroller Ai, and the next thing I know, she's standing behind a reversing car. Or, like what actually happened at a fren's condo, she was standing on a chair menjenguk over the verandah from the 8th floor. I froze in terror, and it was a my fren Jill's good reflexes ( being a mom herself) that prevented on what I would not even dare to imagine.
So sense of alertness mmg kena tahap gaban bila ada anak. With regards to the unfortunate parents,as much as their judgment could be questioned, to me it is just an unfortunate incident that no parents would want to go through.
But how about dumb mistakes done by parents out of sheer stupidity rather than negligence? i have witnessed Malaysian parents do far worse stupid things with their kids. Sapa tak penah tgk mak/bapak bawak keta with anak atas riba? Or let the child stand on the passenger seat while they
drive?
Itu kalau nak kutuk, silakan, because that deserves dumb parents award of the century.
Have you ever thought what would happen if the car suddenly come to a jolt? That your precious innocent child would be crushed to death to the wheels? Or, in the case of standing child, would easily be thrown out of the car? You don't have to learn /understood the concept of inertia to get that simple fact. i am sure at least once in your life you have had experience being a passenger in a car which suddenly brakes. Tu kita yg mass boleh tahan ni, imagine anak kecil.
Apparently, many people do need "Common Sense for Dummies" guidebooks. That is perhaps the tragedy of many Malaysian parents.
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